Oh my...

It's been a long time since I've written... how is everyone?? *waves* Well... guess where I'm working now? No, I'm not a sale assistant at Isetan. Hmmm... Mojo Jojoe's Fantasy... *sighs* I should change my blog title, since Joe is no longer with us.

Nooo!! He did not die, sillies... we just... parted... and he totally forgot about me. I thought I'd send him an SMS on New Year's Eve, just to show that there were no hard feelings, and guess what he replied??? "Who are you?" Omigod... he did not!!! But he did... I didn't bother reply since he'd forgotten who I was. I despise him now... termite poop!

Anyways... where were we? Oooh... my job. Because of my 4.0 GPA, I was offered a scholarship by a top management firm (can't tell which). So I'm currently overseas, studying for my Masters. Sweet, ain't it? I'm really enjoying myself here. To supplement my shopping needs, I work part time at a local coffee house. That's where I met Marc again. Yes, the jerk who dumped me for the double-D fruit, Strawberryna. But he's become so much hotter. *sighs*

Remember what I said about the 2 great loves thing? I guess I'm meant to get back with Marc then. I'm not ready for toy boys yet ;) He was so sweet, he cried and all and asked me to take him back, telling me that cup-size wasn't as important as the brains I had. I couldn't resist.

Anyways... this is all I have to say for now.. more updates when I actually go sightseeing, with Marc.

Is mind-blowing sex a myth?

Found this article from somewhere... can't remember where... if you own this piece of writing, please leave a post and I will be happy to credit you.

*Caution: Entry contains graphic description. Prudes & children, please leave immediately!*

What is mind-blowing sex anyway? Romance novels have always fascinated me in the way they depict the act of sex, the feeling of sex and the whole idea of sex. Just can't relate to it. Perhaps it's because of the Asian culture.

An example is the exagerration of oral sex. Is it that pleasurable? I've read of women climaxing from oral sex. Just doesn't seem possible to me. And do you think a guy's tongue can penetrate the vagina? Not unless the tongue is as hard as a penis can be or the girl's vagina is a wide open hole. I think that romance novels glorify sex and give girls, especially young girls, false impressions of what it's like. Don't forget that the characters are usually uninhibited and there is rarely the mention of the consequence of accidents happening.

We often receive emails telling us how much better it is to have sex than to go jogging. You brun more calories, you stretch more muscles, you live longer, you're healthier, you won't die of heart attack or stroke, you have betetr relationship with your partner... blablabla... Yes, we know it's healthy, but we need to know what more comes of it. What about the pain and the diseases and the emotional attachment (for young girls)? Everywhere you hear that sex is beautiful, experiencing an orgasm is like going to heaven and back. Really? Seriously?

I think most statistics show that women who don't, outnumber women who experience orgasms. So will it always be a myth to most of us? Will I ever experience it? Is it suppose to be more than than pleasure. It seems that we are never well-informed on the matter. We only learn from TV and books. Not that the sex we have now isn't great. But when will we ever know if such a thing as wonderful, mind-blowing, earth shattering, soul-out-of-the-body sex every exists? Someone... anyone... please tell me it does...

Kissing saves your life!!!

I was watching Discovery Channel on Astro today while waiting for my Joe to get ready for dinner and there was this program called Secrets of Kissing. So interesting. It seems that there are millions and millions of bacteria in your saliva and when you lick your lips, you put a few million of them on your lips. So it's suggested that you don't go kissing babies cos you might give them diseases.

However, good news for us adults, who go lip to lip, tongue to tongue. Our immunity is boosted 50% when we kiss. And our saliva has anti-viral properties, which they are trying to determine if it could ward of AIDS. So while you may catch the occasional flu and cough through kissing, you won't die. And if done often, you exercise your face, reduce sagging, boost immunity, get relaxed, work better and live longer. Good eh? However, according to the documentary, social kissing is somewhat overdone these days. According to this old lady in the documentary, people cheapen the act of kissing by kissing people they hardly know. Especially at social events like high society parties. They kiss people they don't know to make others think they are close and look associated. The kissed party will be miffed but cannot say "Get out of my face!" to the kisser cos it's not polite to do so. As well as people who kiss publicly, like on TV or on a stage. That's tasteless. We should keep kissing as private as possible. In cars, rooms, MRT, busses and etc.

And the big info is... guess what? Kissing is a better predictor of relationship ties than sex. It seems that people who kiss often seem to be more intimate and loving and this is a better predictor compared to sex. Cos maybe you have lots of sex but you don't really spend time cleaning each other's teeth. I can say that Joe's teeth are squeaky clean. Which means that I'm doing a good job and we're on the right track, eh? Not to say we don't have enough sex though. More on that in my next post "Is mind-blowing sex a myth?".

Anyway, I wonder if it's true kisses can melt people. I don't fancy being melted. I just feel a little warm and fuzzy when my Joe kisses me. But other than that, I never feel the urge to moan or wiggle as depicted in those romance novels my mom has in her bookshelf. Do you think fiction ever tells the truth? But no matter if it's going to melt me or make me moan and rub myself on Joe, I'll still kiss him because it is an act that would keep us together. What's more, anything that keeps me from sagging is a must do on my list!

Boring day...

Today, Joe's stuck at campus doing some dumb project. Left me alone, with no phone buddy tonight. Sometimes I wonder what I ever did without my Mojo Jojoe. What was I doing all those nights when I was single. Surf the internet? Read books? Checking my mail for new online catalogues from Gucci and Prada? All those seem so boring and meaningless now that I have my Joe. Am I now dependent on love? Am I a loveaholic?

Charlotte of Sex and the City once said that we'd have 2 great loves. I've had Marc and now I have Joe. So if Joe is my last great love, after him will probably come those meaningless toyboys who will never be able to fill my enormous appetite for great loves. If I'm a loveaholic, I certainly can't do with just flings and secret loves. Nothing can replace the feeling of those warm hugs and soul-touching kisses. Of course there is no greater feeling than that of the first kiss, the first hug, the first time our hands touched, but the feeling of warmth and familiarity that comes after that will be the hardest to let go. Why? Because if everyone only wanted to feel the "first times" relationships would never last and people who get over such addiction realise that it's the familiar warmth they can depend on. When people get used to depending on that feeling, they'll never let it go. That's why some people, though in a shitty relationship, still carry on. I understand how you feel Marc. You should dump Strawberryna if she's torturing you.

I just hope Joe is reading this and calls me immediately. I repeat: I'm a loveaholic and I need my fix, NOW!!!

When Jen met Joe...

Halo! Joe's right beside me today so that we can give you an accurate account of our first lunch together. So here goes...

I arrive at Fish & Co and Joe's sitting there, smirking again. I suppose you thought he was going to start molesting me. You people are such perverts!!! I will never do such a thing. It's so wrong to be molested by a stranger. You should only do such stuff with your boyfriend. Anyway, we had a nice little conversation:

Me: Hi
Joe: Hi
Me: Waited long?
Joe: Nah, only about forever
Me: Stop being sarcastic
Joe: Who's sarcastic? :P What are you having?
Me: I'll have a plate of fries and a coke
Joe: On a carb and sugar diet?
Me: Yea, growing out my fats
Joe: Nice... I adore fats
Me: Good for you, since you have loads of them stuck on you :P (he's actually quite fit, not fats. but you can't be generous with praises lest the guy gets fat-headed)
*waiter comes and we order food*
Joe: So what's your major
Me: I major in Social Science, you?
Joe: I major is Garbology
Me: Really? That explains the smell
Joe: Yea, can't get enough, can you?

As you can see, loads of flirting going on. Probably getting more and more x-rated as we proceed. So I'll cut to the chase and say that every meeting was about the same until he got down on his knee and sang that awful britney song. It was blackmail. I had to say yes or he'd be singing it until I did. So I did and here we are now. Just in case you're wondering if I called him darling, honey, Joey or even sweetie pie, I don't. He's my Mojo Jojoe. Most days I call him Jojoe. When I'm lazy I'll call him Jo, without the 'e'. He's really cute when he's sleeping and he's such a great kisser. I'd know that cos I've kissed plenty of losers and good kissers to finally meet a great kisser. So please excuse me now while I run of to do what they say in Chinese as doing what love would do. Haha! If you decode that, tell me. Tata! Oodles and oodles of love to my Joe.

A fresh start...

I always thought I'd be with Marc forever. But I guess sometimes, one can't assimilate everything. Marc left me for Strawberryna (the slut of a fruit) after she got a boob job and gained 2 cups. :P She's now a D cup. That is so sick. I can just imagine her and Marc going shopping when they're 70. They'll need a 2nd trolley to keep her boobs from sweeping the floors.

Anyway, I was having fun as a single for the last 6 months until I met Joe. I know you're probably going to say, "That is such a bloody common name, are you making this up?". Honestly, no. Joe is real. And I love him to bits. I'm sitting here listening to the sappy song he sang to me on the day he asked me to be his gf. He sang 'I was born to make you happy'. A Britney song?? What a dope, huh? Yea, but I love him to bits. Not because he showers me with love, affection and presents. Not because he doesn't mind that I'm only a B-cup. Not because he doesn't mind that I have an ass like Jennifer Lopez. Why? Let me tell you the story. The Jenn and Joe story.

3 months ago, on campus, I bumped into this oaf. Not only he dropped my new white Furla bag, he stomped all over my Bubbles notebook and he just smirked and walked off. So typical right? Girl meets obnoxious freak and obnoxious freak just smirks. But it was such a charming smirk. I was besotted. But I hated him. How can you be besotted and hate a guy at the same time. Some girls in my school even called him a minger. But they've never witnessed the smirk. Otherwise they'd never have said that.

Anyway, I never saw him again. Then, a few weeks later, I was at Jubbjubb's party and I met him again. And I know it was cheesy, but I accidentally spilled coke on him. He was so pissed until I started to wipe his shirt with a napkin. I was so engrossed with wiping him that I accidentally dabbed the napkin on his fly. He flinched and started to look very embarassed and he left the party. Naturally, I was puzzled. I mean, it wasn't like I was molesting him. I just forgot that he'd probably wanted to wipe his groin area himself. So I asked for his number from Jubbjubb. It was then I found out his name is Joe and that he's been a student in my college for as long as I have. So why haven't I ever seen him before. Now that me and Strawberryna are not on speaking terms, I had to turn to a new friend, Honey, to ponder about Joe. Honey said that I should call Joe. Maybe he wasn't embarassed. Maybe he ran off to lure me away from the party so that he could get me alone. Bad planning, eh? :P

So I called Joe and he hung up on me. I called him again. This time he answered. Here is the exchange:
Joe: What do you friggin' want?
Me: Nothing. Just wondering why you ran away the other day.
Joe: Why? You were obviously enjoying yourself, molesting me with a napkin, that you didn't realise why.
Me: What did I do?
Joe: Why are you such an airhead?
Me: I'm not an airhead. I have a 4.0 GPA.
Joe: Probably got your 4.0 from molesting your lecturers with a napkin
Me: I don't think Mrs. Ganesan would like me to molest her
Joe: (starts laughing hysterically)
Me: What? What did I say?
Joe: Nothing... Mrs. Ganesan of all people to mention... (continues to laugh)
Me: You're crazy.
Joe: So are you. Want to have lunch tomorrow?
Me: What for?
Joe: So that I can molest you this time.
Me: Ok.

And that was how we got our first date. I'm a bit tired now. So I'm going to continue my story in my next post. Till then. Tata! Oodles and oodles of lurve to my Joe.